Blast from the Past…

I go out. Face the world. Muster all the strength I have to project that strong person I wanted people to see. I walk the streets seemingly too confident. Brandishing every move with much stiffness and apathy. I am strong. I am brave. I want the world to see my invulnerability. It is as if a play. I play the lead role. I have mastered the character so well. I had so realistically portrayed the role. I have grown accustomed to this fiasco. Be stiff. Appear indifferent. I always tell myself. I have never let my guards down. People should see me as tough, not giving in to the brutality of this world. In the waves of life’s cruelty, I stood firm like a stone. Like a soldier ready to face the bullet of death for the sake of what he believes in, I looked each problem coming my way straight in its eyes. I never let them daunt me. I have fooled people. I made them believe that nothing could knock me down. I made them see a fighter in me. I have fooled them. But can I fool myself?

 

—written the night after my father’s funeral. I never cried. I was holding back the tears. Physical attributes, I have gotten nothing from my father. I do not look like him at all. I would always tease my mother that someone else had fathered me. Then I realized that just like my father, I keep problems to myself. There’s something other than the physical that he had passed on to me after all.

Love Letter

Dear me,

Life has played another prank on you once again. Well, what else is new? Nothing. It’s a cycle. That’s how life is, that’s how it works. One day, you pretty much enjoy the euphoria it brings unto you. Then as you may very well know it, that feeling will never last as life does not really appreciate seeing you happy all the time. It will call on the toughest tempest and make it shake your world. This will eventually break you and then, just like a candy man tempting little kids with those luscious sweets, life will make another promise of happiness to you. Of course, just like the little kids, you will be tempted yet again and the cycle would go on and on and on.

Apparently, life is as complex as we can imagine it to be. Too many twist and turns that we are almost always left clueless. Bringing in too many contradictions that add up to the complexities it already has. It never tires itself of pouring in a little more confusion to batter us a little more. But it is never that brutal. Once it sees you panting from the quandary it has brought you in, it gives you a helping hand and carries you through it. It nurses your wounds so that it could make you able once again to send to battles once more. See that’s how complex it is. It will just make you crazy if you would try to decipher the intricacies it has.

There are those times when you feel like you’ve had enough of the tricks that life has played on you. Those times when life puts you in despondency. It seems like giving up is far more better that hanging on. You get tired of the game and wanted to quit midway. You find refuge in failure, in defeat. Barely holding on, losing the will to go on. But you come out of it. You proved to be far stronger than you imagined yourself to be. You never let the odds beat you. That’s the beauty of life. It strikes you with all the pain unimaginable yet it promises so much in the end.

How many struggles have you had? Countless. How many times did you fumble? A lot. But you are still there hanging on with the iota of hope that you have been holding on to. See you are better off wounded for it is in pain that you truly gain strength. It is in defeat that you learn how to succeed. In the end, life would make you a warrior. The best one at that. I know right now you are in the cycle of life where everything is surreal. You still get confused even if you have been through worst. Do not fret for in life there is no such thing as permanence. The thing that you are experiencing right now is bound to pass. Just let it take its course. Always remember that at the end of the tunnel is (another road to travel?..lol) a beautiful light that shines so bright.

Diamonds become brilliant because of the pressure that they were put through. Life sometimes puts us through so many adversities to make us better. Every tear that we shed is a lesson learned, so the smarter we will become. Sometimes life breaks us in order for us to become whole. Cheer up for you are very lucky. Life has made you a diamond and right now it is just trying to perfect your cut.

 A friend always,

Yourself

Like a Star

You are there. I know you are there. I could see you. I love looking at you. I love looking at you no matter how far you seem to be. You are a sight to see. And you know that. You know that people look at you. You know that they admire you. And you spark a bit more. You put up a show so that they would look up to you more. Fall in love with you more. And desire to see you more and more.

Just like a star in the sky, you glow and your light shone unto me and my heart’s forever captured. You made me look up to you, you made me fall for you, and you made me desire you.

Just like a star in the sky, you are far. You couldn’t see me. You don’t know me. I am but one of the many people who love looking at you. I’m but a speck in your crowd of spectators.

You are like a star. You are too far from me. You are my star and no matter how far you are I’ll still look at you from a distance, I’ll be forever loving you from a distance.

Everyday Miracle

 

Sitting by the Manila Bay gazing at the sky and waiting patiently for the sun to depart is something that I have always loved to do. No matter how bothersome the noise coming from the chattering crowd is; the sunset could definitely bedazzle everyone. It is always a spectacle to watch as the sun changes its color to a magnificent orange and slowly makes its gracious exit. The reflection it makes in the sea water is another brilliant display of the beauty of this moment. Colors change with the movement of each passing current. The sun and the sea move too swiftly in unison, dancing in a song with every step as perfect as possible. Then, after a few blinks this moment is bound to pass leaving me breathless. It would not matter how long I have waited to witness such scene for it is worthwhile.

 

I have never felt that euphoric. I have never been so lured by a beauty such as that. It’s heavenly, simple and immaculate. The sunset never fails to fascinate me. That brief moment that separates the day from the night is such an amazing treat, a miracle. It lifts up my spirit. It lifts up many spirits. The moment is indeed picturesque. Proofs to that are the numerous postcards that depict the rare beauty of what seems like the union of the sun and the sea. Such moment is truly astonishing.

 

It has always been a favorite to artists. With its bright colors that seem like a mixture of all variety, any person drawn to the arts would definitely find inspiration from it. The wonderful ensemble of elements; the sun, sea and the sky, is quite a rare beauty worthy of being captured on a canvass. The brilliant display of rays, cutting through clouds and extending far beyond, is an abstract in its own form. The glorious descent of the sun is indeed an art in itself.

 

The scenic beauty of the setting sun has also graced a lot of wedding receptions. The union of the sun and the sea is akin to that of the hearts of two souls bonded by love. The dimming light of the sun as it slowly succumbs to the night giving way for the moon adds up to the romantic set up. It gives the needed intimacy when couples exchange their vows. The silhouette it makes of the couples kissing is such a sight that needs to be captured on film.

 

The Manila Bay sunset is only one of the many spectacular showcases of this world’s beauty. It is such a sight and the best thing about it is that it is for free. It just goes out to show that the best things in life are indeed free. Too bad that people these days that are pretty much occupied on making a fortune and building their future miss out on the chance to enjoy it. And as for me, no matter if I have witnessed a thousand of sunsets in Manila Bay, I am still as eager to witness some more. For every sunset is quite different from the last one. It may go about the same pattern and time, it is still beautiful nonetheless. It is always great to be a witness to an everyday miracle.